AMP: Artists' Meeting Place and Resource Collective

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, having enjoyed a romantic interlude, Laytah the call-girl and Dddwwychlyff (?) take turns trying to push each other out the Revolving©window. Now, the librarian spots Wolfcastle…

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 22

Wolfcastle turned from the window abruptly, his mind a blur with thoughts. They had stood against something, that much was true. But that was a long time ago. He was different now, he’d changed. Not just older with more gray hairs and wrinkles – something inside of him had altered. And Ddwwchllyff - Ddwwchllyff had changed too, he used to be taller for one thing.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, Schumacher escapes the Vice-Chancelor’s vile presence wearing the maintenance uniform and carrrying the battered suitcase of a, perhaps the, grey-haired lady? And now, back to Ddwwchllyff and the call-girl.

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 21
‘So you see Miss Cassleberry…’

‘Please, call me Laytah’

‘So you see,’ he began again, ‘Laytah, that’s how I came to big a big star in Rangoon. Cigar?’ Ddwwchyllff concluded, placing additional emphasis on her name.

‘No, thanks. I’ll stick with the pipe. That’s a fascinating tale though Mr Dddwwchyllff, truly fascinating’ she lied, stifling another yawn and blowing another cloud of smoke. Next time she’d do it the other way round.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode – Samantha Panther, ace reporter, meets a lacivious old Bangladeshi in -- Luxembourg.

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 20
‘Colleagues, lady, gentlemen… it has come to my attention that My…sorry, I mean The… University is not maximizing itself to the maximum,’ the Vice Chancellor was a clumsy public speaker at the best of times. He continued, ‘This is not good enough!’ he demanded, pounding his fist on the hardwood table as he spoke.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In Chapter 18B, the lip-reading lethal librarian pondered the incongruity of Welsh University student enrollment and Welsh University student/s. Now -- Luxembourg.

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 19
In earlier past days gone by, Wales had envied other nations, free nations. It had looked to them with jealous eyes and longed for what they had: Freedom. Iceland, Ecuador, Georgia, Fiji, Luxembourg. All places that were free. All places that Wales wanted to emulate. And so it had.

Unceremoniously squeezed between France, Germany and Belgium (Belgium!), Luxembourg had, in great inter-nation-al irony, looked back at Wales with equal, if not greater envy. A small nation. A tiny country. Slightly smaller than Rhode Island: a mere one thousand square miles of central northern European anonymousness. One thousand square miles and growing. Growing by the day. Growing outwards and growing upwards. The sheer indignity of losing all that land to Belgium (Belgium!) in 1839, even if it was in return for greater autonomy, had never fully been resolved.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, Wong offers Wolfcastle his support. “It hadn’t been asked for and Wolfcastle had been somewhat embarrassed at the time. What was he meant to do with the old man’s surgical truss?” And now, back to the librarian…

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 18B
Across town the librarian was coming to the end of her shift. She’d lipread the international business news and was waiting to see what the new weather girl had to mouth for herself. Lipreading wasn’t something she had to do out of necessity. It was purely a hobby. She approved of silence. That’s why the library job had appealed so much. Ideally she’d have gotten that job overdubbing the pauses in foreign films but they claimed she didn’t have ‘enough experience’. They gave to job to some ‘actress’ with a media studies degree. Who’d have known she’d fall under a bus on her way to work that first morning?

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, we learn too much about Dr Snought and his unhealthy avuncularism toward concocted foreign students.

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 18A

Wolfcastle turned from the window abruptly, snapping his eyes away from the fog. The fog. It seemed it had always been there.

“So it is agreed then?” said the speaker in a questioning tone, seeking confirmation from the other man

“Yes, OK” was Wolfcastle’s reluctant reply. What had he just agreed to?

Wong wasn’t involved in the Awful BusinessTM, not as far as Wolfcastle was aware at least. He was a big figure in the rug smuggling trade though.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, the librarian notices a shift in University altitudes in regard to the library…”The ground floor, for example, was now reached by going down two flights of stairs….” In the latest installment, Dr. Snought imagines his students…

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 17
“Before you all dash off… The deputy secretary to the assistant Pro-Vice Chancellor has been asked by the Vice Chancellor’s PA’s administrator to remind you all that the Vice Chancellor’s annual inaugural start of the end of term spoken lecture series is beginning again next week. Voluntary attendance is, as usual, compulsory - so I expect to see you all there!”

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, the kabob shop attendant snaps.

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 16
So that was the big news? There may have been an incident at the Inty and the police had refused to refuse to comment but were flatly denying they had previously denied anything? It seemed incredible but if Channel 12 was reporting it, it had to be true.

The librarian shook her head in wonderment and turned up the volume. Nothing like an incident had ever before been reported to have occurred anywhere near the airport. It had once been her job to make sure of that, no matter how many people had to tragically succumb to gravity. Her rigour had earned her the nickname “the pusher”. She’d retired at a relatively young age, at least so far as one can retire from such an organization, due a loss of depth perception which had resulted in an inconvenient man stumbling off a kerb instead of a wall. Luckily, he’d stumbled in front of a moving bus.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, the name “Pinesniffer” is fit into the story when newlyweds run over a car park attendant. Now, we return to Wolfcastle at Wong’s kebab joint for some carefully constructed one-liners...

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 15

The young man behind the counter was still reeling from the earlier question, which was making him dizzy. He stared at multiple Wolfcastles. “How do you all know about Wong?” the young man angrily demanded.

All of the Wolfcastles were tired and hungry. They didn’t have time for such long-winded questions.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, the reader (Hi Mom) is introduced to super-reporter, Samantha Panther, with her ferret-resembling boom microphone, @ the CIA…

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 14
In the short stay car park of Cardiff International Airport, a parking attendant, who had been circling for some minutes now, began to close in on the Channel 12 news van.

The newly wedded couple, Mrs and Mr Pinesniffer, had only just gotten back to Wales after their three week honeymoon. Still jetlagged and misty-headed, the eager Mr Pinesniffer wasn’t concentrating as he drove around the fog covered car park in search of the exit so he could get him and his wife back home.