AMP: Artists' Meeting Place and Resource Collective

ALERT: DON’T MISS LONDONLAURA’S BLOG RE PHOTO CONTEST BELOW THIS LATEST INSTALLMENT OF TCG!!!!!! For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see full blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, Samantha Panther, star reporter, meets an aging Bangladeshi – in Luxembourg. Now, Colonel Peppet, the vile Vice-chancelor, and…

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 28

Everyone else in the room was busy trying to reach Colonel Peppet. It hadn’t been easy, he was hard to keep tabs on. Eventually, after an hour, extensive internet searching, several calls to various operator services, a séance and some luck, she managed to make contact.

‘Where are you Colonel?’

‘I’m in XXXXXXXXX, on my way back from XXXXX’, came the cautious reply.This was usual for Peppet; when it came to such matters he was known for being cagier than a zoo full of animals. Everyone else in the room began to recount how the Vice-chancellor was in an even more foul mood than usual and how he had better arrange to arrive soon or he’d probably better make plans never to arrive again.

The Vice-chancellor came out of his luxurious office and into the reception area, slamming the door behind himself. He was on his way for a coffee of five in the canteen. Everyone else in the room was still on the phone with Peppet. Realising who she was talking to he snatched the receiver from her and began to bark orders down the line.

Peppet, and everyone else in the room, were perplexed at this behaviour. Oblivious to their reactions the Vice-chancellor reverted to a more orthodox approach and began to yell in English.

‘Listen Peppet, or whatever name it is you are using today…oh and I’m not impressed with your fancy title either – we both know you only got the rank Colonel from your family’s links to the fried chicken industry – you better get yourself here… SOON! There’s work to be done and you are the person I want doing it(!), so get your-sorry-excuse-for-a-self over here now, from wherever it is you are currently lurking, OR ELSE!!!’

And that was that! In just one harsh paragraph Wence Peppet’s bubble had been well and truly burst. He’d never actually claimed to have any military experience as such, but then again he’d never actually been totally open either. And now this. Now the public outing of his background… and what was worse was that it was in front of everyone else in the room too. That was sure to blow any chances he had there of a spot of this, some of that, or a little of the other.

The Vice slammed the handset down on the desk and traipsed out of the room in the general direction of the canteen. He still had to make contact with the Chinese but he’d be needing some caffeine first. And maybe a cake?

There wasn’t anything else to be said on the matter and so, with an embarrassed silence followed by a polite farewell, everyone else in the room ended the call and got on with the important task of dealing with the filing backlog. But which nail to begin with?