AMP: Artists' Meeting Place and Resource Collective

I've often found it ironic that my Master's in Social Work is in Administration and Community Practice, yet I've yet to find a job where the opportunity to develop communities hasn't been thwarted or completely nonexistent. In my current job, the administrators have seen fit to choose (with no formal hiring process) individuals with no professional training to fill positions such as Volunteer Coordinator. They've done absolutely nothing over the past year and when I've stepped in to help and gotten immediate results, I've been received with resentment. I will give them some slack in that they've been asked to fill these roles in addition to their other full time positions.....I need to stop writing this stuff down because it makes it very clear that I need to look for another job! Anyway......If you don't know where I'm going, you might want to stop reading now because this is going to be one long-ass blog

and is likely a first draft for an article that may appear in a bellydance publication later on. I had to get this out of my head and into black and white before I lose it.

On a personal level, I stepped away from so-called community efforts several years ago when there was nothing but competition and infighting in the development of the pagan/earth-based spirituality community in our area. As one of the fastest-growing spiritual practices in our country and possibly the world, many groups branched out from the one or two established groups in a short period of time. Instead of acting from a sense of unity, many of these groups instead chose to attack other groups, questioning "qualifications" and breeding competition and conflict. It was just too reminiscent of some of the churches I'd attended and left, so I stepped away.

I also helped someone establish a community in our smaller town and am still proud to have been a part of that. I do regret that what could have been a great friendship was lost in the process. Although we had the same goal, we had different intentions. This person had a need for recognition and I just wanted to see growth. It's a shame that we didn't know how to blend the two without conflict. While nothing ever reached a stage of out and out fighting since I stepped back before that could happen, I do wish that it could have worked out better since I truly love and respect this person and she's done a wonderful job since then. The conflict among the pagan groups in our area continues and may never be resolved. It is obvious in the groups that have isolated themselves and refuse to participate in larger community events.

So, I said, "never again" and now find myself in the midst of conflict within the art community - the bellydance community in our area. Bellydance has faced stigma from the public for a long time and there is a lot of misconception and lack of information in our society. With the birth of the Bellydance Superstars around 2003, this wonderful art form is being presented to the public as such and interest is growing in leaps and bounds.

The beautiful dancer and historian Morocco, who has been there from the beginning, is upset about the dance developing into American Tribal Fusion and worries about this contaminating genuine Middle Eastern dance. Yet she herself says in the documentary "American Bellydancer" that the purpose and intent of the dance is to express joy.

I began dancing about a year ago when I saw one of my instructors at a workshop - ironically, in something that the pagan community put on - and was so impressed by the joy that she radiated that I was enrolled in her class within two weeks. I had met another area instructor years before and had taken her class information, but I never followed through because the concept of joy was lacking in her presentation.

The studio I attend was fairly new when I joined and I have been with them for about a year now. I am officially middle-aged, having celebrated my 50th birthday with the troupe, and I have had two back surgeries that left me with permanent nerve damage. This joyful, positive, energetic woman, 20 years my junior, has taught this old crippled lady to dance - and from what people tell me, to dance beautifully. About six months ago, another teacher joined her. This instructor has a different style of dancing and teaching, and she continues to enhance what I've already learned.

There are several other schools in our area. The instructors have invited them to our monthly Hafla celebrations and some have even been invited to use space at the studio to teach. A few have accepted invitations to events and at least one has used it as a venue to sell products. Since some of us have purchased the products, we have been open to this. We sometimes suspect that a few stop by just to see what we're up to. Although we're in a fairly large city, when it comes to a community like this it's a bit like a small town, and rumors of statements that have been made outside these events make their way back to us. Some of those statements have been that our instructors aren't good enough to be teaching and that we're not "ready" to perform.

We were invited by another troupe to an event this weekend that we had so looked forward to. Unfortunately, something happened that threw a cloud over it, and it involved what seemed to be a deliberate attempt to make a fool out of one of our instructors. This hurt all of us, because members of this troupe know that both of our instructors have families and day jobs and don't draw salaries from the studio. They are there for us because they love the dance and what it does for the women who come through the studio - and because they understand the concept of dancing for self-expression and joy. For one of them, one of the class days is a very heavy day for her, yet she has never canceled a class and teaches two classes no matter how tired she is.

I've been lead to question, what exactly does "ready" to peform or teach mean? I observed one dancer at this event who had absolutely beautiful moves....but not only did she fail to smile, she looked absolutely bored and even rolled her eyes at one point. When I complimented her on her performance, she responded by saying, "Well, I've been at it a long time." I did not tell her that her performance would have been so much more had she given some emotion and personality - and I actually overheard someone in the audience say the same. Some Middle Eastern people call this "taste" and might say "Eh, she was good but there's no flavor" to this type of performance. If you've been "at it" for ten years and your performance is totally bland, does that make you any more "ready" than the dancer who has been dancing for three months and looks like she's having the time of her life up there?

From what I've been able to piece together over the past year, it seems that the other schools are more focused on performing professionally than teaching the dance as a method of physical, emotional and spiritual healing. It's obvious from their websites, where troupe performances and teacher "qualifications" rather than the health benefits of bellydance are emphasized.

I think we all agree that as a community, dissolving the stereotypes and misconceptions of bellydancers being equated with strippers and the dance being purely sexual is the goal. I do respect all efforts to present the dance as the elegant, respectable art form that it truly is.

But when we knock another instructor/studio because the focus is on having fun, expressing joy and developing unity and spiritual, feminine connection instead of "professional" peformance, we are creating a conflict when it would far better serve the community if the two focuses were blended.

The intent of our troupe is to bring the benefits of this dance to all women. Not only is bellydance an excellent, non-impact workout - but it also naturally changes one's body image and self-esteem in ways that other forms of fitness do not. Bellydance is an almost effortless way of losing weight and getting in shape. Many, many dancers notice a difference in their bodies after just a few months of dance without dieting or making other changes. Bellydance does something for the dancer psychologically that can naturally cause changes in diet and lifestyle over time without the dancer even realizing that she has done so.

I think that I'm correct in assuming that the majority of women who look to bellydance with interest do not do so with the goal of auditioning for the Bellydance Superstars or even the local performing arts center. They want to have fun, get some exercise and yes, learn to feel sexy and comfortable in their own bodies. In a society where eating disorders continue to run rampant and high schoolers are getting boob jobs and tummy tucks for graduation gifts, it is critical to keep this avenue open. As a society, we've know the effects of media representations of beauty for more than twenty years, yet one glance at the models in any magazine makes it obvious that nothing has changed.

The Bellydance Superstars have come under a lot of criticism for their perfect physical appearance, yet as the public this is probably what we want to see in their shows and DVD performances. But we appreciate the real-life bellydance troupes even more, with their wonderful rounded hips and bellies and the beauty that they radiate in a live performance.

The general public who know nothing of technique and perfection in the moves love and appreciate these performances because the dancers are enjoying themselves and often are interacting with them. This is evident in the reception we have gotten every single time we have performed, including the recent "shadowed" event where we were invited to close the event and were invited back.

The attitude of division about which troupe or studio is more experienced, qualified or "professional" does a grave disservice to the community as a whole. Competition for students is going to be our downfall. An aura of being the "best" or "more experienced" creates exclusion - women who would love to dance but receive the impression that they must excel are going to feel that the doors are closed. How many times do we hear "oh, I'd love to but I could never....." when we talk up bellydance?

Each instructor has her own personal style and experience that when blended, offers the serious dancer a multitude of tools for developing her own dance. These differences should be also be presented to prospective dancers from the outside community so that they can have the information available to choose which instructor/studio would be best for them to accomplish their personal goals in dance. It would be ideal if all of the instructors could first share the goal of bringing this dance to all women, and then to work together to help each woman choose the best path, teacher and studio that will support her in achieving her goal. Instructors should be willing to recommend another instructor when a student isn't connecting with their teaching style. In bellydance, the personality of the instructor can be as important as "good fit" in counseling or therapy. Women need to know that perhaps they should try several different instructors before giving up.

Each time our troupe experiences a challenge, we are drawn closer together and feel strengthened and empowered. We are going to keep doing what we're doing because it's working. Maybe this is what's really pissing some of the other troupes off - despite what's being said about us we continue to attract new students every week. We are learning that we need to present ourselves for what we are - a group of women who are finding joy and spiritual sanctuary together. We're here to have fun and develop personally and spiritually. We'll change your body image one class at a time. We'll give you hugs when the outside world is making you crazy and a place to get away from it all for an hour or two a week. If we make it to the Performing Arts Center someday, great - but for right now, we're here to spread the joy.

This is one community that I won't be walking away from, whether the situation changes or not. We will continue to invite the other troupes and studios to our events, and we'll be there supporting and zaghareeting for them when they invite us or we happen to be there. Bellydance and my instructors and troupe have given me so much healing during a very dark time in my life. My personal goal is to share this and bring it to the many other women who could reap the same or greater benefits.

No one owns art. As artists, when we create something we must give it away in the form of inspiring others. Unfortunately, in our society our art no longer carries any monetary value. Perhaps when we start walking our talk and truly supporting each other as communities, we can change this. Our troupe has a dream of building a commune where we support ourselves and each other while giving back to the larger community with our gifts as healers and artists. Maybe it's not about money - maybe it's about supporting each other with bartering for goods and services. What a wonderful world that could be.